There are 47-15 losses and 47-15 losses. Fortunately this was one of the good ones, and the Termites probably learnt more in this game than in some where they have won by 50 points. The versatility and commitment was immense throughout, but Stevenage were the better team.

This week's summary comes from 2nd Team 'the other Midlander / Northerner match reporter' Luke Roe, and is followed by an end of season report card from one of the elder statesmen.

0-80 mins by Luke Roe

On what was the final game of the season for your favourite team full of middle aged warriors held together with tape and compression bandages, your heroes travelled to Stevenage Town RUFC. Apparently otherwise known as St Evenage, and given my Scunthorpe roots, I was expecting some Cathedral-esque grandeur. In fact it was like Sunny Scunny, which was great and made me feel at home.

It was a rag tag brigade of Termites who made the journey and fair play must go to the boys who played out of position including a half back pairing of Mark and erstwhile second row John, along with Marcus who is usually a touch specialist braving getting further damage to his hurty knee. 
 
The game started well for Hertford with big carries from the forward pack taking us right up to their line. Max Chambers imperious as ever and Offy rolling back the years and illegally rolling people out of rucks by their necks like a sly master. The good work was undone somewhat by us big boys coughing up possession and Stevenage taking advantage of a baked hard playing surface by having the wherewithal to run around us rather than right at us. Sadly this sly and cheeky tactic was one they ran with all day! Disgusting. 
 
The first half continued pretty much on with that pattern, Stevenage continued to make your wonderful Termites pay by being fast and skilful. Special mention to their 9 who really was a class player (this endorsement has nothing to do with the fact he mugged me off multiple times throughout the game but personally I thought he was B&I Lions calibre) 
 
Your Termites man of the match came in the form of Young Finn who gave us something to cheer in the first half with some great support lines, offloads and bagged himself a brace of tries with hard graft aplenty and Stevenage tacklers clinging onto him like dogshit bags to the bushes surrounding the playing field. 
 
I’d like to say the second half playing down the hill played out differently for your valiant boys but sadly Stevenage continued to score and we continued to not. 
 
Some handbags erupted at one point in an otherwise good tempered game when Stevenage’s large loosehead prop took umbrage to the fact Billy Risley was in a driving maul and tried to pull his head off. (Billy was just as shocked to be there himself I’m certain)  This however gave the Rt Honourable Mr Alfie Church an opportunity to deal out some ruck justice with some aggressive clearing out and some good old fashioned raking down the poor fat boys back, which was followed by Alf’s butter wouldn’t melt puppy dog eyes which seemed to work as we ended up with the penalty. 
 
Some sterling work in defence from Marcus and Mr Paul Neilsen (Who’s name does sound a lot like ball) kept Stevenage out and your boys continued valiantly to keep it under fifty. With big defensive efforts on the baked hard surfaces reminding Gerry of his native land, unfortunately he’s a soft fucking Hertfordshire boy now so fucked up his knee on the Durban-esque playing surface. 
 
Hertford were rewarded for their endeavour with Grampa Mas making a threatening run down the wing carrying three players, who all were closer to his Grandaughter Maya’s age than his own, with him. Once again Finn was on hand to bust through and in true tight fisted student style avoided buying the boys a jug by setting up Alfie for a routine flop over effort.
 
Score: 47-15
 
Tries: Finn Robb, Finn Robb, Rt Hon Church
Conversion attempts: Dixon x2, Brewer x 1
 
MOTM: Finn Robb
 
TOTM: Paul “Ball” Nielsen for throwing a ball onto the pitch in the first half when Ollie was trying to substitute him onto the field

Team:  Chambers (Robb), Groves, Van Der Ryst, Crook, Roe, Mayes, Offord, Church; Flaherty (Haddon), Neam, Dixon, Gawthorne, Marcus, Risley (Nielsen), Brewer

Att: 47 (Including 13 poor bastards who were looking out of Lister Hospital windows)

September 2021 to April 2022 - the end of season report card for Saturday's team by The Club

Olly Gawthorne: we start at the top with "O Captain, My Captain", and his combined role as team organiser and selector, social secretary, saviour of Thursday night cub, Whatsapp moderator / Whatsapp agitator, and General Club Glue. Loyalty and commitment are essential for club rugby, and Olly gives it and gets it. A one-man committee who builds teams. No factions, no machinations; if it is thought, it is said. Ten more years!

Max Chambers: what a season for the youngster. Great play maker, ball carrier and rugby know-how. Stay fit, work hard, go far.
James Groves: hard work and quiet determination. Would be great to see more of you. Make some noise with your rugby.
Gerry Van Der Ryst: the go-to smash it up merchant in the team. Fierce. Go Gerry! Look after your knee, and work on the offloads.
Matt Crook: let's see more 80 minutes in the boiler room from you, and we promise to do some lineout practice or at least ways to disguise the "you don’t actually want me to jump do you?".
Luke Roe: having added match reporting to the existing panoply of rugby talents he has finally emerged from Chippy's shadow. We may need to send you back to the 2s to get some quality Lacey coaching.
Colin Mayes: perpetual motion and grit, as well as a lineout option (albeit not one we used once on Saturday); just what you want from you back row / second row.
Andy Offord: hardest worker on the pitch who will chase absolutely everything. Has "Hert" tattooed to his chest (we think he had meant "Heart") and bleeds blue, black and gold (again, a tattoo thing). After you have done the leg drive in attack, get your head up to keep the ball alive.
Alfred Church: my word, you've shown you have a future as a No 9. Perfect example of making the forwards do all the hard work and then nicking the ball from them over the line.
Finn Robb: See the match report. Don’t let No 9s steal your tries! Make sure you are at Hertford pre-season and get everything you can from Uni Rugby.
Mark Flaherty: the crowd want more! Get working on that calf conditioning so we can get you beyond 60 minutes.
Billy Risley: Hertford's happiest player and a great ambassador of the High Oak (the HRFC clubhouse from clubhouse)! Get your hands on the ball as much as possible, and hunt that ball in defence.
Jon-Paul Dixon: freed from the constraints of the row, his kicking game was unleashed (and wasn’t followed by team complaints for a change). Great versatility to be able to run a lineout and a backline. All court players are here to stay!
Marcus Adams: great to see the skills and running on the 15-a-side pitch. If it is a future as a specialist touch player and bar man, then we will take it!
Mas Neam: bit difficult to equal your match stats of big tackle on their fastest player, sidestep someone half your age, and a lineout catch; so just enjoy the build up to your big birthday year.
Paul Neilsen: team player personified. Force your way into the game more, hit rucks with a teammate and clear out.
Mitch Haddon: injury has been a massive loss to the Club, but the lightening cameo defensive charge to force their player out and the release to Marcus on the wing are glimpses of the good times. Look after yourself.
Mitch Brewer: always making the most yardage with ball in hand, and always cutting great lines from full back. Always keep doing what you're doing.

There is a cast of thousands beyond the squad that played on Saturday who have all helped make the Termites what they are: local lads playing social rugby at its best, and Hertford Rugby Club Bar's Best Team.

Stand up the Albons, Always, Bartletts, Bassetts, Bestys, Byrnes, Bishops, Collinses, Carpenters, Donovan-Minogues, Davies, Giddings, Humpys, Hollises, Hydes, Jordans, Johnsons, Lawrences, McTameneys, McGreals, Mosses, Pizzeys, Roberts, Roes, Ruffles, Stringers, Shields, Walpoles, and Wilsons…and others… of Hertford RFC and the Termites.

Touch rugby starts 26 May 2022.