In the previous game we rightly celebrated the front row feast, and the lordly leviathan more than justified their plaudits with yet another dominant performance, this time against the court of Camelot. However, it was the youthful and mobile Termite-lite Knights that got round the table to seize the hilt of opportunity to secure victory in an Arthurian fever dream.

Debutant colts Hughes and Preston ('good Jenson') led the way in all endeavours, supported by the relative teenage experience of Gawthorne, Foster, and Kimsey (the 'other Jenson'), to seize control of the game and lead Hertford to a narrow and nervy victory.

After an unusual week in Hertford social rugby, which included a proper sit down mid-week meeting with people putting up hands and Roberts threatening to take notes and implement a to-do list, the antithetical socialists could finally get on with some war war rather than jaw jaw.

Not that Hertford had much time for talking in the first 20 minutes of the game, as they were pummelled by an organised and lively Hemel side. Their co-ordinated forward and back interplay ran Hertford ragged as they dominated possession and territory (they had definitely been to training that week rather than having meetings). This was exemplified by the most dynamic tight head prop you will come across, as he bounced a couple of tackles and ran in from 30 metres. 7-0 to Hemel.

The Hertford defence was led throughout by Preston's energetic cover tackles, and Lacey's mano a mano monsters. Lacey's bold decision to start his season by moving from the backs to No 8, could have been interpreted as braggadocio – but he did himself proud, at least until the point where he had to concede that he couldn’t breathe anymore!

Having barely touched the ball, Hertford finally got the opportunity to get in the game. With just 5 front rowers in the starting pack this week and the masquerading Lacey, there may have been a theoretical concern that Hertford wouldn’t be able to take control of the scrum. But with the choice or going big or going home, this pack was out out. Having back-pedalled in the defensive lines for 20 minutes, there was finally an opportunity to slow the game down and start some scrummaging. In these moments, the front row Mount Rushmore of Humphries-Hollis-Van Der Ryst come to play. Humphries in particular is most formidable when given a challenge and a target outside of social media, and he did his duty manfully. Hertford found their platform, and that platform was moving inexorably forward at every scrum. This changed the dynamic as Hertford were finally on the front foot – just look at the Ref assessor's stats for the scrums! It eventually led to some changes in the Hemel pack, and the game went uncontested whilst Hemel found another prop.

Released from the scrum, Hertford's big boys were enjoying their physical dominance in the open play – albeit a slow and constrained physical dominance – as Hertford played 9 man rugby, and extracted a string of penalties. The glut of gutful forward possession was assertive rather than attractive, but you will take what you can get. Notwithstanding this sea change in territory and possession, the Hertford players could not register a score and turned around at half time 7-0 down.

In the second half, the game went back to contested scrums, and the backs were finally allowed to have some ball. Fullback Foster was even able to deploy some of his familial legerdemain, as the backs got into the game.

After another powerful scrum, inside centre Hughes glided through a tackle and mazed around two more defenders before offloading to centre partner Gawthorne to dive over. Hertford were on the board at last. There was some uncertainty about the conversion, so 7-5 to Hemel.
This led to Hertford's best spell of the game as they attacked with purpose, and spread the ball a bit more.

From a lineout and three forward bursts in field, the ball was switched back by Albon to Hollis astutely holding his space out on the wing (i.e. he'd barely moved since throwing the line out) 5 metres out to burst through an unwinnable tackle to score in the left hand corner. Hollis was drafting the match report as the action was happening and declared that he had run in from the "half way line". When Walpole later released the countervailing video evidence, honest Hollis declaimed that he had said "large waistline"! 7-10 to Hertford.

Hertford continued in this form, constantly pushing Hemel backwards, as Albon released Hughes on a flat line on the 22 to break the first tackle, commit three tacklers and offload to the every grateful Gawthorne in support again to finish off the try. 7-17.

The teenagers made an impressive centre pairing, with spriteful zeal and offered a huge contrast to the hulking pack.

Whilst the centres gave us the edge in attack in the middle of the pitch, Hemel started to reassert themselves, and began spreading their attack and the Hertford resources. As they took the ball wide, and with just Albon to cover, the in-play betting was never on the tackle and always on the impudent intercept. As some of the players raised their weary heads from the muddy melee to see Albon scampering down the wing with his smug grin, they knew the turnover had come from an intercept. Top work and 7-24 to Hertford (there was some uncertainty about the conversions, and the official line was that we only got 2 out of 4).

This game was a long way from being safe.

For final period of the match, the younger Hemel team kept possession and attacked from everywhere. They gradually pulled the score back with a converted try to make it 14-24.

This was followed by another converted try to make it 21-24, and things were tense. The decorum of Dacorum was disrupted by Captain Albon's deliberations with the referee, who had not only had the pleasure of reffing him before, but also playing against him at rugby and cricket. Just imagine having to spend 12 months a year arguing with Captain Albon.

Preston was covering a huge amount of work in defence, and repeatedly tracked back on the cover tackles. Nielson came on to help tighten the defence with his eternal enthusiasm, and also created one of the widest spread of ages in a Hertford team for a long time – Preston's 17 to his 61. The Club statisticians are on the case, and seeing if there are any remaining records from the games featuring the likes of Charlie Stringer.

This defence shift was just about enough to see the game out, as Hertford controlled a final scrum and Albon booted the ball to finish it off.

Knackered.

Sirs: Humphries, Hollis, Van Der Ryst, Scully, Heltsley, Church, Preston, Lacey; Roberts, Albon (c), Legeren, Gawthorne, Hughes, Cartwright, Foster
Squires: Price, Kimsey, Neilson
Squinters: Walpole-Voyeur, Carpenter, O Gawthorne
Tries: Gawthorne 2, Hollis, Albon
Cons: Albon 2
In the Guiness stocks: Hollis (kicking badly); Foster (general bullying of the youth)